Sometimes, marriage can work when you have opposing values, but it will take a lot more compromise and cooperation, and those issues may potentially be a source of conflict later on. For instance, if you believe it’s important to raise your children in church but your boyfriend hates organized religion, you may find yourself arguing about that if you have children together one day. Talk about the future in a way that always includes him. [2] X Expert Source Cristina MoraraDating Coach Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
For instance, if he opens up about past relationships, watch for signs of anything in his history that might make him afraid of commitment. If he has been hurt before, he might need extra time before he can open his heart enough to consider marriage. He might also say things like, “Marriage is just a piece of paper,” which might indicate that he has no intention of getting married. You want to take the time to create a solid foundation with this man in your relationship. [4] X Expert Source Cristina MoraraDating Coach Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
Honest and consistent communication makes it clear you’re committed to him. [6] X Expert Source Cristina MoraraDating Coach Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
During an argument, try to express your feelings without resorting to name-calling or losing your temper. Ask him to treat you with the same respect, as well. Don’t let anyone manipulate you into taking all the blame for a disagreement. In almost every case, both of you will have contributed to the situation.
For instance, you might say things like, “You’re such a hard worker, and I really respect that about you,” or “I love your smile!” If he’s feeling nervous about a job interview, you might say, “You’re so smart and you’re more than qualified for the position. If they don’t choose you, they don’t deserve to have you!”
For instance, if he’s feeling sad because someone in his family passed away, you might just sit quietly with him, holding his hand. Don’t pressure him to talk—he will if he wants to. If he’s feeling stressed about work, you might prepare a nice meal for him or take him out somewhere out for dinner so he can unwind.
Other red flags might include trying to keep you away from your family and friends, putting you down or making you feel bad about yourself, blaming you for his actions, or insisting that he take control of both of your finances.
For instance, you might go for a bike ride with your best friend while he’s watching a football game with his buddies. Of course, if you have the same interests, feel free to enjoy them together! Just don’t be afraid to do things on your own, as well.
Self-care might be something physical like relaxing in a bubble bath while you deep condition your hair, but it could also mean anything that makes you feel mentally, spiritually, or emotionally healthy, like practicing yoga or meditation, going for a long, quiet walk, or writing in your journal.
For instance, you might say, “I’m a really good friend, and I try hard to make other people feel good about themselves. I’m worthy of being loved. " If you’re struggling with your self-confidence because you haven’t been proposed to, you might remind yourself of the good things your guy has done for you. For example, you might say, “Jason drove 2 hours to see me the day I failed my Economics test. I know he loves me, even if we’re not engaged. "
In some cases, concerns about finances may be the reason that he hasn’t proposed yet, so being financially secure may help relieve some of his stress.
In addition to the stress-relieving benefits, exercising will help your body be fit and strong, which can help boost your self-esteem. Looking and feeling your best will make you seem more attractive to the man you love, so he might even be more inclined to propose to you.
For example, you might say something like, “I’d love for us to take a trip to Europe together one day. " That will let him know he’s included in your dreams. If he says something like, “I’d really love that!” then he may be thinking of a future together, too. If his answer is non-committal, like “Yeah, maybe,” he may not be as invested as you are.
For instance, you might have cook-outs, plan fun double-dates to movies or restaurants, or even go on a trip together. Attending a wedding together can be another way to get marriage on his mind. [17] X Research source
Not only will this let him know you’re thinking of marriage, but it will help him know what your tastes are. For instance, he might be imagining a classic ring with a large diamond, while you might prefer a non-traditional gemstone or an unusual design. Try not to show him rings that are way out of his price range. If he thinks your tastes are more expensive than he can meet, he might be hesitant to buy a ring at all. If you’d prefer not to have a ring at all, you can tell him that instead of showing him rings. It will still let him know you’re thinking about marriage.
Try to think of a way to make the proposal special and personal, like taking him to the place where you had your first date or a spot with a really romantic view. Once you’re there, tell him how much he means to you, then ask him if he’ll be yours forever!
