For example, if you have a lot of mutual friends, then you can attend a party that a mutual friend is throwing. Or, if you feel more comfortable not reestablishing contact in person, you can try texting him to ask something innocent, like the name of a restaurant you both once went to. Keep these conversations short, to the point, and emoji-free. [2] X Research source
At this stage, you’re actively inserting yourself back into his life, and there could be some objections from his new girlfriend. Do your best to not criticize her in his presence or over texting. Be cool and confident because if he keeps talking to you despite her protests, then that is a great sign that your approach is working.
A good way to stay out of the friend zone is to break the touch barrier. Don’t do anything overly obvious, but simply touching his shoulder or reaching across the table for his arm while you’re making a point can send the right signals.
Try to not be overly emotional. Simply say that you miss what you both had before, you know what you did wrong in the relationship, and you want to give it another shot with him. Let him know that you’re aware that while the past won’t instantly be erased, you know what mistakes were made and what to avoid. Avoid crying or pleading with him, if he doesn’t seem to be on the same page with you. This makes you look desperate, and will likely drive him away completely. At this point, you’ve reestablished a friendship with him, and that might be all he is ready for right now. Be respectful of his feelings, and don’t try to force a romantic relationship if he doesn’t seem ready for it. [4] X Research source Even though you tried your best, be ready for rejection. Sometimes no matter how hard we try, our exes are not in the same mindframe as us. Keep in mind that he might still be hurting over your break up, or he might truly love his new girlfriend. [5] X Research source
This is especially true if cheating was involved in your original break-up. Consider whether you want to have to endure something like that again. It might seem like he’s the one for you, when in reality, you might just be experiencing some sadness and jealousy over the loss of a relationship that you invested time and energy in, not the guy himself.
There are exceptions to this. For example, if you have children with your ex-boyfriend, then you cannot simply stop speaking to him, for their sake. If you find yourself in a situation that makes it impossible to have zero contact with your ex, then keep conversation to an absolute minimum. Be polite but don’t chat him up, and leave as quickly as possible. The no contact period is probably one of the hardest things to do when you want to win back your ex. It’s important to remember that this is a means to an end. Although not true of all guys, most guys want what they can’t have. So removing yourself from him will, at minimum, make him realize what it’s like to not have you in his life. Your goal is to make that picture look bleak.
You risk appearing desperate or clingy if you rush into your attempt to win him back. This gives him ammunition to use against you to paint you as the crazy ex-girlfriend. Resist the urge to immediately start trying to win him back.
Some good ways to redirect your anger are taking high intensity classes like kickboxing, so you can physically release your anger, or you can try journaling or meditation to work on channeling your anger into something positive. [12] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
