Integrity: is she honest with both herself and others, trustworthy, and dependable. Can you be upfront with each other about your thoughts and fears. Emotional maturity and self-esteem: no one is perfect, but a willingness to reflect on and learn from the past (and demonstrate what you’ve learned) is a key feature of emotionally mature people. Emotionally immature girls are those that are dependent on others for their self-esteem and well-being, and let their emotions control their actions. [5] X Research source Supportive and committed to personal growth: she has her own interests and actively pursues them, has a general positive attitude about life (even when faced with difficult circumstances), and she maintains good relationships with family and friends and encourages those around her. However, someone that constantly puts their own interests above others, and are overly competitive or judgmental do not make good partners.
Clean-up your appearance: this shows you have self-respect and take care of yourself. Make sure you wear clean and unwrinkled clothing, shower everyday, keep your hair combed and groomed, and your beard shaved or trimmed short. [8] X Research source [9] X Research source Practice good oral hygiene, brushing your teeth twice a day and avoiding foods that cause bad breath (such as coffee or garlic). [10] X Research source Avoid wearing too much cologne or body spray – instead, stick with a neutral aftershave or deodorant. Relax and be confident: don’t let your fear of being turned down overcome your ability to talk to your crush, even if it seems she is at first not interested in you. Girls don’t like being around or interacting with men who lack confidence. [11] X Research source Also, girls find laid-back and less stressed men more attractive and enjoyable to be around. [12] X Research source
Catch her attention by making eye contact and smile when talking. Avoid speaking too fast or in a high pitch – this will make you look nervous. [14] X Research source If walking next to one another, slow down. This will make you appear more laid-back and approachable – good qualities in both a friend and boyfriend. [15] X Research source Remember to be respectful. Respect her decision to stay single. Move on without questioning her decision. It is important to realize some people are not compatible.
Talk yourself up without bragging. Mention accomplishments you are proud of, or goals you had and how you achieved them. For example: “That English assignment or math test was rough, but my studying paid off” or “my months of training paid off in the half-marathon, maybe I will run the full marathon next year”. Be more upfront and open about your feelings. One of the mixed messages you may be sending is that you are cold or pessimistic. Make a goal of saying one positive thing a day about someone else. [18] X Research source
Create space and respect her privacy. Do not try to fix her problems or constantly offer advice. Simply let her know you are there and are willing to listen. Be a good listener. Do not jump in with your opinion and resist the urge to fix everything. Let them talk things out and come to terms with things on their own. Make plans as a group and include her. Offer to pick her up or pay for her. Simple acts of kindness, as long as there are no strings attached, can go a long way.
Be patient. Some girls are naturally more open about themselves and talkative, whereas others might be more shy or hesitant at first. Never use cheesy pick-up lines. Not only does this set a bad impression, but it can also be offensive.
Make it clear you just want to hang out. Don’t talk about relationships or ask her to be your girlfriend. Do not corner a girl or make her feel trapped (physically) when asking her out. She might say no because she feels uncomfortable and intimidated. [25] X Research source If she seems reluctant to go on a date with you, invite her to do something with a group of friends. Organize a picnic or go to a dinner and a movie with a couple friends.
Make an effort with your appearance – wash and comb your hair, brush your teeth, do not wear too much cologne, and wear clean, unwrinkled clothes. Do not overindulge in alcohol, be considerate, and practice good manners. These involve not dominating the conversation, turning off your phone and giving her your full attention, and be kind to others. [28] X Research source Avoid discussing controversial topics, such as politics, old relationships, complaining about your job, or sex. Instead, focus on good topics such as the news (and her opinion on current events), family, travel (either places you’ve been or want to go in the future), or your thoughts on love and what makes a good relationship. [29] X Research source
Other examples of teasing include light tickling, placing your hands over someone eyes and saying “guess who”, or giving them a light shove or nudge on the back or arm. Show you are teasing by using an exaggerated tone of voice, facial expressions, or a smile. [35] X Research source
Hold back some of your feelings in the beginning of the relationship. Maintaining a sense of mystery and uncertainty helps keeps things interesting – and perhaps kindle romantic feelings. [38] X Research source For example, don’t tell her how much you like her and talk about your “future” together the first time you hang out. Give her some space. While you do not want to stand her up if you’ve made plans, don’t text or call her every day. Your absence may lead her to realize how much she actually cares for you.
Is it okay to go out in public? Is it okay if others know, or should the relationship be kept secret? What happens when one person becomes romantic with someone else? Will you tell each other if this happens? How often do you want to see each other? When is it okay to call or text? Do not ask questions that are condescending or accusing, such as: how many people are you seeing? Where were you last night? Why didn’t you return my calls? Can I add you on Facebook? If you cannot agree to these terms, than you probably should not pursue a casual relationship. Tell her your feelings and let her know you’re interested, but that you should remain friends if she feels she can’t commit to something more serious.
