If you need to keep some contact with your ex while you transition out of a shared residence or because you have children together, keep all communications brief and civil. Stick to the basic details you need to communicate. For example, you could say something like, “I’m going to stop by the house to pick up my things at 5:00 pm today. I’ll leave my key on the kitchen table. ” Or, “Can you please have Mindy and Sarah dressed and ready to go at 8:00 am?”
For example, if you have pictures of your ex, gifts they bought you, or even sentimental items that remind you of them, place these into the box.
Try to limit this grieving period to 2-4 days, then get yourself up and out to do something that will distract you. [4] X Research source
For example, you might note that part of the reason why you and your ex broke up is that you had different life goals. This could tell you that you might have a more successful relationship with someone who shares your goals. Or, you might note that your relationship troubles resulted from having different communication styles and want to find someone in the future who communicates differently than your ex did.
Avoid asking friends and family who still have contact with your ex to tell you how they’re doing. This can put you back into a cycle of focusing on your ex instead of yourself. [9] X Research source
If you’re in school, you could also ask to meet with a school counselor.
For example, instead of setting a goal to lose weight, you might say, “I want to lose 10 lb (4. 5 kg) over the course of 6 weeks. ”
If you plan to buy something or do something that costs money, try setting a limit on how much you’ll spend. This may be helpful if you’re worried about overdoing it.
For example, if you have always wanted to learn how to play guitar, follow along with online videos, take private lessons, or enroll in a class. If you’re interested in learning a new language, download a language app, listen to a podcast on learning the language, or take a course.
For example, now’s the perfect time to tackle that leaky faucet in your kitchen, repot your houseplants, or develop a better filing system for your bills.
For example, after you wake up you might take a shower, get dressed, go to school or work, and then hit the gym.
For example, if you enjoy going on walks outdoors, take a walk around your neighborhood on most days. If you’re a fan of soccer, join an inter-mural soccer league at your local gym.
If you’re new to healthy eating, start by replacing one unhealthy item in your daily diet with a healthy alternative. For example, if you usually eat a bag of potato chips for an afternoon snack, try switching to apple slices. Make sure that you don’t use food as a coping mechanism after your breakup. If you overeat or find yourself turning to junk food in the first few days after a breakup, that’s okay. However, if it becomes a regular habit, this can lead to weight gain and poor health. [18] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
Deep breathing Yoga Progressive muscle relaxation Meditation
Try doing this after you get ready for school or work in the morning, or set aside a specific time later in the day to reflect on how you’re feeling.
