Stand up tall and proud so you look more confident. Don’t forget to smile![3] X Expert Source Cher GopmanDating Coach Expert Interview. 17 May 2019. It’s a lot easier to flirt if you keep up a positive vibe.
Find subtle ways to show you’d like to spend more time with her. If she says she loves to swim, don’t say that you’d love to see her in a bikini. Instead, say, “I bet you could swim laps around me! Maybe we should find out some time. " Let her know she’s special, but don’t give a tired line like, “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?” You might flirt with her in her native language or remark on something she’s great at—“You make the best cappuccinos of any of the baristas here,” etc.
“What do you like to do for fun?” This shows that you want to get to know her. “Do you have any siblings?” If she’s close to her family, she’ll enjoy talking about them. “What do you think about (fill in the blank)?” Go for something that will make her laugh or tell you something thoughtful about her like “What do you think you were in a past life?”
Tease her about flirting with you. You might say, “I see what you’re doing! Your feminine charms won’t work on me,” while you wink or have a coy expression on your face. Tease her about her appearance but make sure to do this in a complimentary way. You might say something like, “Only you could pull off that crazy outfit. "
Prove that you can keep up the banter. If she’s firing a sarcastic or clever comment at you, shoot one back. Be original. Part of being witty is finding a new way to think about old topics. Don’t tell her something anyone could say. Understand your audience. Always be kind when you’re playing around. You don’t want to say something witty that’s at the expense of someone else or you’ll look rude.
Humor should be effortless or it will look like you’re trying too hard.
Don’t be self-deprecating. Lightly making fun of yourself is different from calling yourself a loser or ragging on your life choices. Talk about something you’re good at, whether it’s sailing or learning new languages. You don’t have to brag to show you’re a capable and interesting person. Don’t act like you’re so great that she’s lucky to be getting a minute of your time. If you are only talking about yourself and your great qualities, that is a big turn-off. [10] X Expert Source Cher GopmanDating Coach Expert Interview. 17 May 2019. Keep things on the same level. You both should feel that you’re lucky to be talking to each other.
Don’t be too aggressive. If you say, “Hey, want to make out?” she may walk away because she feels pressured, especially if she feels like you’re pushing her to go to the next level. Avoid making overly sexual comments. Don’t say, “You have a great rack,” or she’ll spill her drink in your face. Instead, tell her she looks great in her outfit. Don’t give the girl all of your attention. You shouldn’t spend all night talking to the girl and ignoring everyone else or it may get too intense. Coming off too needy or too available can tur her away. [12] X Expert Source Cher GopmanDating Coach Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
Drop at least a few hints that you’re interested. If you give the girl nothing to work with, she won’t think you like her. Make it clear that she’s not in the Friend Zone. Give her feedback so she knows you’re interested—compliment her looks, let her know she’s special, or generally treat your conversation like the preamble to a date. If you don’t let her know she’s special, she’ll think you just like her as a friend. Don’t be afraid to break the touch barrier if you’re on a date. Touching her hand or coming over and sitting closer to her will show her you’re interested.
You can flirt and move a conversation forward. You can still be playful and fun while asking the girl some genuine questions. Make sure to let her know at least a bit about yourself by the end of the conversation. She should walk away knowing at least something about you so she feels like you actually connected.
