Obviously, it’s easier to find her by searching for her name if her name is rare. If she is Sarah Jones, you may have a much harder time. Consider whether she may have changed her last name through marriage. Keep in mind that, if you are not her friend on Facebook, your message will go to her “other basket,” which some people don’t know to look in. You can pay $1 to send the message to her inbox or just send her a friend request.

You may have better luck if you add a city or state to her name when searching for it. It will narrow down the people with the same name. Make sure that you type the correct spellings of her name. You could just try searching the name of the city she lives in, if it’s small, and see what names come up. Or put her phone number (if you know it) or email into the search bar. Or you could look through your old friend requests. Search her through your email contacts if you’ve emailed her in the past. Just click on the tab on the right that says “get connected” and then “find your friends” and put your email in. It will search for your contacts on Facebook. [3] X Research source

Again, if you can add a city, that will help. Keep in mind she might have changed her last name, and that it will, again, be harder to find her if her name is very common. You could add other identifying details in Google searches too, such as school name and see what comes up that way.

Look through their friend lists. If she’s on Facebook, it’s likely she will be friends with her family members. Again, remember that the name’s rarity has to be factored in. If she was named Jane, but her brother was named Tobias, you may have more luck trying to find him because of his name’s rarity. Also, men don’t change their last names through marriage usually, so searching for her father or brother or other male relatives is a good bet.

Facebook has a “mutual friends” feature that Facebook uses to match you with a name. If you have any mutual friends at all, she will be high on the list. Look on the right column under the feature “people you may know” and see if she comes up (she may if you have a mutual friend). [4] X Research source Or you could just scour their friend lists to see if she’s listed on them. This will work better if you knew her recently because it will be more likely she is still in touch with them.

You also might find that she is already a member of the school alumni group or has posted on comments on it. You might be able to jog your memory of her family members’ names or friends’ names by looking at alumni groups or high school yearbooks (many are also scanned in online).

In a case like that, you might want to see if she has a younger relative who would be more likely to have an account. If you are looking for a girlfriend from 15 years ago, and she had a toddler at the time, it’s a lot more likely that the child could have an account than her.

Will your current girlfriend or spouse, if you have one, appreciate you linking to an old girlfriend? Sometimes it can be better off leaving well enough alone. There’s a reason it didn’t work out the first time. If your reasons are harmless or positive, there’s nothing wrong with re-establishing an old friendship. But take some time to figure out why you are trying to do it.

Mutual friends may know if she has a new last name. Alumni lists on school websites sometimes list a person’s new last name with their maiden name. By Googling her maiden name, you might come up with her new name if she’s used both together (which people sometimes do, including on Facebook).

LinkedIn is a social media site that people use for professional connections. Some people who aren’t on Facebook are on LinkedIn. You could also try Instagram. Some women are on Pinterest, where they share pins of things like recipes and inspirational sayings. You could look for her there.

You could look up her phone number first on any number of free Internet search services for finding phone numbers if you don’t remember it or think it’s changed. Some of the Internet search services for looking up phone numbers will link her maiden name to any married name too. They often list all of the past names a person has used. [5] X Research source