Fake smiles are easy to spot, however, so it might help to think of something that makes you happy in order to genuinely smile around an irritating person![2] X Research source

Phrases like “I heard you say,” “it sounds like,” and “you must be feeling” indicate to the listener that you will be paraphrasing. A good paraphrase for “I’m so sick of sitting in traffic for an hour on my way to work!” might be “Wow, it sounds like your commute is really exhausting!” Paraphrasing requires active listening–you need to pay close attention–so this may feel draining with an especially annoying person. Consider looking at it as a skill-building opportunity (paraphrasing is a great communication tool). You also may not wish to use it for a great length of time.

This can also help you refocus the conversation to something you may find more tolerable. For example, “You mentioned your sister; how is she doing?”

It is not rude to set boundaries, however. If your coworker has been talking nonstop for the past fifteen minutes, it’s okay to say, “I’m so sorry I need to cut this short, Maria, but I need to get back to work. ”[8] X Research source Your behavior is only controlled by others if you allow it to happen. If you are the type of person who is loving, honest, kind, and authentic, demonstrate these qualities even when you’re around difficult people and strangers.

For example, “I can’t say that the state senate race really interests me that much, Bob. But speaking of races, are you still running these days?”

Apologize for interrupting and make your point: “I’m so sorry to interrupt, but I was hoping you could help me with this problem. ”

For example, you could say, “Joe, I’ve noticed that whenever we talk I always feel like we are crammed in an elevator together. Would you mind backing up a bit?” Even a good-natured, “Hey man, back up!” may suffice. In many cases, annoying people are choosing more indirect methods to get their needs met. You can address this person by saying something like “The way you’re acting is getting my attention, but not in a good way. It would be helpful for me if you just told me what you wanted. "

Make an excuse. Look at your watch and “remember” you need to be somewhere. Say you need to get something to eat, or need to use the bathroom. [12] X Research source Say “It’s been so nice talking to you. ” Even people with poor social skills will recognize this as a natural end to the conversation. Wait for a lull in the conversation. Then you could say, “Well, I should get going. Have a good day!” Blame yourself for not keeping up the conversation. For example, maybe you are a terrible multitasker. Try saying, “Jim, I’d love to talk more, but I can’t do a good job listening to you while I’m organizing these files! I’ve never been good at multitasking. I should probably get back to it. ” Walk away from a conversation when it’s done. If you stay there, one or both of you may feel pressure to keep talking.

Stick to safe subjects. If you have a devoutly religious uncle, and you don’t practice any faith, don’t talk about religion! Change the subject if something controversial comes up. Think of a topic or hobby you are both interested in. If the cousin who only talks about himself plays guitar like you do, steer the conversation to what he’s enjoyed playing lately. Ask an annoying partygoer how they know the host or if you share any mutual friends. [13] X Research source

Look at the refreshments at a party and say, “I need to get some of those brownies before they’re gone! Excuse me!” Blame noise level. If you are at a loud event, pretend you can’t hear the person. Then slip away. Work on something else while they’re talking. Make copies, straighten shelves. This sends the message that you are busy. Answer the phone: “I’m so sorry, I need to take this!” Respond to an email that just popped up.

If you are going to a party where you know an annoying person will be a guest, have a friend help you manage the situation. For example, you could tell your friend, “I’m going to talk to Kelly for ten minutes. After that, come and pull me away with an excuse. ” Flag down a passing co-worker and ask a work-related question to interrupt the annoying person.

Talk about yourself. Your family, in particular, may be interested in hearing what you have been up to. This also can help you steer the conversation. Ask your elders to share old stories. You may learn interesting things about their lives. Focus on the task at hand. If you need to deliver something to their desk, drop it off politely and leave. Don’t take rude behavior personally. If you work in a customer-centered job, you may have to deal with annoying people frequently. Politely address their concerns. [14] X Research source