Cross dressing can be defined as people who wear clothing and/or adornment, i. e. , accessories and make up, that is traditionally associated with the opposite sex. In other words, it occurs when a male wears a dress or make up, or when a female wears a men’s haircut or a suit. It is a form of gender expression. While people who cross dress may refer to themselves as transgender, others may still refer to themselves as their assigned biological sex, or refer to themselves as the opposite sex, particularly when they dress up. [1] X Trustworthy Source Go Ask Alice Medical advice site with content written by health promotion specialists affiliated with Columbia University Go to source You can explain to your child, “Cross dressing occurs when a boy dresses in girl clothing, like dresses, and when a girl dresses in boy clothing, like suits or boy’s tennis shoes. " Remember that what each gender wears can vary in other cultures. For example, men in Scotland wear kilts, which are similar to a skirt.
You can say, for example, “Your biological sex is determined by the girl parts or boy parts you are born with. However, gender is how a person feels on the inside, and how that is expressed on the outside. "
You can also explain, “Some blue people like to wear pink, while some pink people like to wear blue. This is referred to as going against society’s expectations, and it is not wrong or bad. " You should also explain that cultural expectations can change. For example, women did not wear jeans until after World War II.
To help your child understand, you can explain, “Imagine someone who is born blue, but they feel pink on the inside. So, they decide to wear pink things, even though they were born blue. "
You can simply say, “There are many reasons for why a girl will wear boy clothes or why a boy will wear girl clothes. Some people dress up for creative reasons, like when you dress up for Halloween, while other people dress up because they want to express how they feel on the inside. Remember that some people who are born blue feel pink on the inside and want to wear pink, while some people who are born pink feel blue on the inside and want to wear blue. “[6] X Research source
If your older child asks why, explain gender identity, gender expression, and cisgender. For example, “Cisgender describes people whose sex assignment at birth matches their gender identity and expression. Gender identity and expression is someone’s internal sense of self, and how they express it outwardly. “[7] X Research source
If they ask during an inconvenient time, you can always tell your child that you will talk with them later about it, and that you will try to answer all their questions.
It is also normal for children to want to play with toys that are normally reserved for the opposite gender. Children may cross dress because they think the clothes and toys of the other gender are better. They may also believe that their parents prefer children of the opposite sex, or they may not have a role model of their own sex to use as a model for their clothing or behavior.
You can tell your child, “No matter who you are or how you dress, as your mom, I will always love and support you. Also ask them how they feel when they cross dress. Make sure they do not feel guilty about cross dressing. For example, say, “I want you to know that you shouldn’t feel bad about dressing in boy’s (or girl’s) clothes. It’s important to realize that cross dressing does not make your child perverted, mentally ill, or homosexual.
Offer to make cross dressing outfits for their toys, for example, a dress for Batman, or a suit for Barbie.
Don’t make your child feel like they should overcome their behavior by saying, “You’re old enough now to know that boys should not be wearing dresses. Why are you still wearing dresses and playing with dolls?” Or, “When are you going to grow out of this behavior?"[10] X Trustworthy Source Go Ask Alice Medical advice site with content written by health promotion specialists affiliated with Columbia University Go to source
“How does dressing like that make you feel on the inside? Powerful? Brave? Pretty?” “Are you playing a pretend game? Who are you pretending to be?” “What you are usually thinking about when you play dress up?”
For example, you can have frequent “sharing times” where you discuss your daily activities, how you felt about certain things, and what you should do about certain situations. Having an open line of communication will make it easier to explain your cross dressing behavior to your child. [11] X Research source
After talking about dressing up for Halloween or other special occasions, you can explain to your child that their dad or mom likes to dress up, too. This strategy supports the idea that, rather than a guilty secret, cross dressing is an activity.
You can try saying something like, “I feel happy when I’m able to dress this way. " Or, “I’m still the same person, but dressing in this way makes me feel better. "
