Changing or wanting to move in a new direction with your life could be legitimate reasons for breaking up the friendship. Feeling like you have been taken advantage of for a very long time is another legitimate reason to end the friendship. Not being able to trust your friend because they have lied to you on numerous occasions could also be a reason to end the friendship. Having incompatible or conflicting interests, morals, or ideals could also be reasons for ending a lifelong friendship. Having outgrown one another. You don’t have anything in common anymore.

For example, try to start the conversation on a positive note or start with cheery small talk if you think your friend may cry or become defensive. If you think your friend may get angry, then start out by telling them how much you respect them as a person. But only tell them this if you mean it. If they have broken your trust or taken advantage of you, then you may not respect them anymore.

If you have a trusted partner or family member, use them as a sounding board. Pretend as if they are your friend and rehearse what you will say. They will be able to tell you how you sound and if your message is coming across the way you want it to.

You could say, “Can you meet at my place for coffee any time this week? I have something important I want to talk to you about. "

You could start by saying, “We have been friends for over 10 years and throughout those years we have made some great memories together. But I wanted to talk with you about something else today. ” You could also say, “You have been a great friend to me over the years, and I am really grateful for that. However, we have been fighting a lot lately, and I don’t think that is going to change any time soon. " Try saying, “Our friendship has meant a great deal to me over the years, but I think we are starting to grow in different directions. "

You could say, “Because of the reasons I just mentioned, I feel our friendship has changed a lot. I no longer feel close. Try saying, “Our friendship has changed since you broke my trust, so I don’t think I want to be friends with you anymore. " You could also say, “I feel like my kindness has been taken advantage of for too long now and I can’t deal with it anymore. I don’t want to be your friend. "

For example, “I understand you are feeling mad. This is really hard for me too. ” You could also say, “I wish this was easier, but this is the way it has to be. I am really sorry. "

If your friend acts out in revenge, don’t give in under pressure and apologize or try to reverse things. Remember that you ended the friendship for good reasons.

Talk to a trusted friend or family member about what happened. They may be able to help you work through your feelings and give you advice on how to proceed with your life without your friend. Journaling is also a great way to work through your feelings to figure out how to move on.

Consider making a list of the traits you value in a friendship. Start to pay attention to people who are compatible with these traits. Alternatively, invite an acquaintance out to coffee, or treat a friend you haven’t seen in awhile to lunch to catch up.

Remember that anything you say may get back to your friend, increasing feelings of resentment or anger.

If running into the person is unavoidable, like at your workplace, try to keep interactions at a minimum. If the friendship did not end well, you may need to speak with your boss to see if you can change departments or work with a different set of people.