When a moment comes in conversation to show you’re interested in trying new things, take it. For example, say a couple of friends are talking about the new Japanese restaurant that opened up. You could say something like, “I love trying new food. If anyone wants to hit that place up, let me know. " If you’re not contacted a lot, this may be because people think you’re simply not interested in spending time doing certain activities. By presenting yourself as someone with a variety of interests, you’re more likely to get an invitation. Let people know you’re comfortable with a variety of situations. If you’re not a big drinker, for example, people may be hesitant to contact you if they’re heading to the bar after work. If you hear people talking about drinking, say something like, “I’m not into alcohol that much myself, but I don’t mind having a club soda and chatting while other people are drinking. "

Don’t be shy on social media. In this day and age, many new friendships blossom because people reach out to one another via outlets like Facebook and Twitter. If you know someone from school or work, find them on Facebook and send a friend request. This conveys you’re interested in socializing with this person. Many people feel shy about calling or texting, and may feel more comfortable casually chatting online.

If someone strikes up a conversation with you, be engaging. If a person asks how you’re doing, don’t simply say “good” or “okay. " Give that person a small bit of detail about your day and ask him or her how he or she is doing. For example, “I’m great. I got a wonderful walk in after work today. How are you?” People are drawn to those who are interested in them. Asking a lot of questions, and paying attention to the answers, will make people more likely to contact you after an event. You should also work on having approachable body language. Try to keep your shoulders down and avoid crossing your arms. Make eye contact with friends and acquaintances from across the room and then offer a nice smile.

Consider a variety of other factors before deciding your friend is being rude to you. Has your friend been busy lately? Is he or she undergoing any changes? A variety of factors could make a friend taper off contact. Chances are it’s not about you. Try to be understanding if you’re not offered an invitation to a particular event. You may feel left out if you see on Facebook a few of your friends went out without you. Chances are they did not consciously leave you out. Your friends may have assumed you were busy, wouldn’t be interested in the activity, or maybe just wanted a smaller group.

Let your friend know you want to talk. You can try to gather your thoughts ahead of time by writing them down. Try to go into the conversation with empathy. Consider your friend’s perspective. Why might he or she be contacting you less lately? Try to take this into consideration. Use “I”-statements to express yourself. These are statements that begin with “I feel,” after which you state your emotion. Then, you explain the actions that lead to that emotion, and why you feel that way. “I”-statements can lessen blame, as you’re putting the focus on your feelings over objective facts. For example, don’t say, “I’m always the one who calls you and invites you out. It’s disrespectful that you never take initiative to make plans. " Instead, say, “I feel disrespected when you never call me and make plans because it makes our friendship feel one-sided. " Give your friend some specifics on how you would like things to change. For example, maybe you want your friend to make plans on occasion instead of always waiting for you to do so.

Think about the last few times you’ve gotten together with your friends. Were you the one who picked the place, made reservations, and sent out Facebook invitations? Are you consistently the one hosting or organizing? If so, your friends may not feel the need to contact you. They assume you’ll contact them if something is going on. There’s nothing inherently wrong with a group dynamic in which one person is the leader. However, if you feel constantly planning things is taxing, ask your friends if they’ll take the reins sometimes. Try not to be rude about it, but simply say you’d like to take a break from hosting and planning once in awhile.

How often do you talk in large social settings? If you tend to be more shy or introverted, you may find yourself remaining quiet a lot of the time and simply listening. You may also only be really close to one or two members of the group. Other group members may think of you as “Lisa’s friend” or “Andy’s roommate” rather than a full-fledged group member. If you don’t want to go unnoticed, take measures to assert yourself more. Try to participate in conversations when you’re out with people. If you’re shy and have a hard time in big group conversations, feel free to start side conversations of your own. If you’re new to a group, it can take a while for people to notice you. Try to give it time. Eventually, people will get to know you and begin contacting you more frequently.

All friendships have a natural ebb and flow. At certain times, one person may be more needy or clingy due to difficult circumstances. However, if your friend is constantly focused on his or her own needs, and tends to only contact you when he or she needs something, this may be a sign the friendship is one-sided. Honestly evaluate the friendship. Has this person ever checked in with you when you’ve been going through a difficult time? Do you feel like this person would be there if you were in need? If not, the friendship may be one-sided, which is not fair to you and your needs. If you’re not invested in saving the friendship, work on simply severing contact with this person. However, if you’re interested in salvaging things, have a frank talk with your friend about how you feel. If someone is worth keeping around as a friend, he or she will make an effort to change to avoid hurting your feelings in the future.

If you’re worried you come off the wrong way, work on ways to compensate for shyness. Force yourself to talk to others, even if it’s difficult. If you’re worried about face-to-face interactions, try breaking the ice via social media. Comment on posts of friends. If you establish a solid connection via Facebook, this may make it easier for you to open up and talk in person. This can result in people contacting you more.

Consider your past. If you had trouble making friends as a kid, you may be more insecure about your friendships as an adult. If you had an unstable relationship at some point, this may drive abandonment issues that can seep into friendship. Try to assess the situation honestly. Do your friends really not contact you that often? Go through your phone, Facebook account, and e-mail. You may find you’ve been contacted far more than you realized.

However, there’s such a thing as being too forgiving. Remember to watch out for one-sided friends. At a certain point, it is appropriate to assert yourself. Letting go of small indiscretions does not mean you should put up with long-term mistreatment.

Do not pick your friends apart too quickly. Accept that your friends are imperfect and make mistakes. If a friend fails to return a text message, don’t jump to accusing him or her of disrespect. It’s not reasonable to expect text messages to always be returned. Chances are, you’ve failed to return a text or two as well at some point. Understand your friends aren’t going to match you all the time. While you may be excellent at returning e-mails and phone calls, other people are less organized. You can’t expect your friends to be at your level in every respect. Chances are, there are things about you your friends find frustrating as well.