Children between 18 and 36 months can do things like: wash hands with help, learn to use the toilet, and put clothes in the hamper. Children around 3 years old can often: put things in the trash, brush teeth (with help), and carry non breakable dishes from the table. Children who are 4 and 5 can begin to: dress by themselves, understand 2 step directions, and follow simple routines.
For example, maybe you are teaching your child to wash hands. You could break that down into small steps like: climb on the step stool, turn on water, hold hands under water, put soap on hands, rub hands together, rinse under water, and dry hands on towel. Since you’re walking your child through these steps, you don’t need to worry right away about whether or not they can memorize multiple steps. That will come with time and repetition.
You could also say something like, “First, put your toys away. Then we can play with the puppy. ” This phrasing can help encourage kids to do things they dislike.
For example, if you are teaching them to get dressed, you can say, “Would you like to wear the red shirt or the blue one?” If you are trying to get them to eat a healthy snack, say, “Do you want a banana or an apple?”
You can say: “Amy, you did a great job squeezing the toothpaste onto the tube. You’re really learning!” Even when your child makes a mistake, you can correct them while being kind. Try “Ethan, that’s not where our toys go. I bet next time you will put them in the right bin! You’re getting good at that. "
For example, you can say, “You chose to hang out with friends instead of mowing the lawn. That means that you won’t be getting your allowance this week. ” Sometimes it might be helpful to offer a warning: “If you don’t keep your grades up, you’re going to lose your phone privileges. " It’s up to you whether or not you want to let kids make mistakes first and then discover the consequences.
You could say, “If you want to buy that expensive jacket, you will need to get a part-time job to pay for it. ” Or it could be, “If you want to go to college out of state, you will need to get excellent grades so that you can get a scholarship. ”
When you set these boundaries, make sure to detail the consequences that will come if they ignore the rules. If your teen wants to go to a party, set some clear rules such as being home at a certain time, not drinking, and making sure there is adult supervision. Emphasize that if they don’t follow the rules, they will lose social privileges.
Stay calm and take time to think it through. Brainstorm multiple ideas. Make a list of pros and cons. Listen to their instincts.
Help your child open their own bank account. Sit down with them and set some clear goals for saving money.
Include specific items such as: “Tuesday–soccer practice from 5-6 p. m. ” Help your teen use an app on their phone or computer to view their calendar and upcoming activities. Time management can take some time to learn. Help your teen by reminding them of important things. You can also ask them if they’ve followed through on everything they need to get done. However, make it clear that they are responsible for knowing their own schedule and sticking to it.
Instead of saying, “That is the best drawing of a dog that ever existed!”, say “I really like how you drew Max with a smile on his face. ” Say, “Your free throws are really improving thanks to your hard work!” instead of “You are hands down the best player on the team!”
If your 5 year old comes to you and says, “Amy won’t share her toys,” you can say, “What should we do? What could you say to Amy that might help change her mind?” If they seem stumped you can give them some suggestions, such as, “Did you say please? Did you offer to share your own toys?” If your teen is struggling in math class, you could say, “What would help you succeed? Are there different study habits you could try?” If they are unsure, you could say, “Do you think you could try reviewing your notes for 10 minutes a day? What else might work?”
Have your child write a list of things they are good at. They can include positive character traits. Have them pull the list out when they’re feeling low.
