For example, you might say something like, “Krista, I have something to tell you. I told Jennifer about that secret that you told me. ” This may seem to make things worse instead of better. And it might– at first! However, your friend will eventually realize that you are an honest and good friend who will be truthful and upfront in uncomfortable situations.
For example, you might say something like, “I didn’t mean to tell Jennifer what you said. It just came out. ” This doesn’t mean you should make excuses for your behavior. Rather, it just shows your friend that you recognize where you went wrong, and why.
For example, you might say something like, “You have every right to be angry at me and hurt by what I did. ” If you try to downplay their hurt feelings, you will only make them defensive. Even if you think they’re being dramatic or over-the-top, just bite your tongue if you truly want to earn your friend’s trust back.
For example, you might say, “I am sorry for what I did and for how it has affected you. I want to try to regain your trust, and I hope you are willing to let me try. “[4] X Research source
Be consistent. Don’t flake on plans or neglect your friend when they may need you. Show that you’re loyal and show that you’re dependable.
For example, your friend might indicate that she defines trustworthy behavior as keeping her secrets, being open and honest with her, and never saying negative things about her behind her back. Your friend might also define untrustworthy behavior as keeping secrets from her, lying to her, or speaking ill of her behind her back. Your friend might request that you tell her the next time that someone is gossiping about her, even if you think the news might hurt her feelings.
This can be a hard habit to break, but really focus on speaking only positively when you’re around this friend.
Exposing secrets and flaws to other people requires courage. By showing courage and trusting in your friend, you’ll hopefully give them that same courage to trust in you.
Try to be as dependable and consistent as possible when working to rebuild your friend’s trust in you. Keep the promises you make and follow through when you say that you will do something.
If you’ve earned your friend’s trust back and you want to keep it, you must change your behavior so it doesn’t happen again.