For example, you might immediately write down public speaking and introducing yourself to new people. After some deep introspection, you might realize that both are connected to being afraid of looking foolish or of being rejected. Be kind and don’t judge yourself as you identify and accept your fears. Also, avoid the temptation to view yourself in a negative light because of these fears. [2] X Expert Source Giselle BaumetMindset & Wellness Coach Expert Interview. 13 December 2021. Try to keep your diary with you as much as you can to write down your fear or anxiety as it occurs. As you write down the fear, also record when it happened, and how it made you feel. Take a few minutes in the evenings to review and reflect on what you have written. Then, identify some small achievable goals to help you face and overcome these fears in the future. Create a list of healthy coping skills that help you when you are faced with fear, such as listening to music, talking with someone you trust, and meditating.
For instance, if you’re afraid to try eating fish, it’s relatively simple to go to a restaurant and order a grilled salmon salad. If you are afraid of public speaking. Take a public speaking class. If you’re not ready for that step, start small and join a special interest group, such as a small book club with people you don’t know. These groups usually are held in small, intimate settings. If you’re afraid of lakes or oceans because you cannot see what is underneath you. Start small and just try going out onto a boat until you are comfortable. When you’re able to go further, get onto a raft. Take your time. Don’t rush. If it takes a few times to go from one to another, then that is okay. Listen to your own intuitive instincts, but also try to utilize some healthy coping skills to help you work through your fears. Eventually, maybe you can dip a toe in, or maybe a foot.
For example, suppose you’re afraid to ride a bike. It might seem like an overwhelming fear at first, but you can solve it using clear steps: ask someone you trust to help you learn, use training wheels, and start riding on grass before pavement.
For example, start planning your week out Sunday night. Write specific actions such as, “Monday: I will call John and try to resolve our disagreement. Tuesday: I will introduce myself to someone new and have a conversation with them. Wednesday: I will go out for lunch and try sushi for the first time. Thursday: I will start my new group workout class. Friday: I will participate in my weekly team meeting and bring up my new product design idea. ”
Tell them, “Hey, you’re a great driver. I have a license, but haven’t driven in a while and I’ve been afraid to get back on the road on my own. Do you think you have time two or three times a week to show me some pointers?”
If you or your buddy feel like backing out of a day’s action, you could call each other to provide motivation. If you can’t find someone to take the challenge with you, ask a friend or family member for support and to hold you accountable. You’ll be more likely to complete your daily challenges if you have someone to pump you up and tell you to stick to your goals.
You can look back on your experiences and use them as examples to help you do things that scare you in the future. For example, you might have written, “Today I finally worked up the courage to talk to Sam. I was really nervous at first and could feel my heart racing! It turned out to be easy, though. I don’t know why I was scared in the first place!”
Tell yourself, “Even well-seasoned Tour de France cyclers take countless tumbles, but they get right back on their bikes and continue on. If they were determined enough to compete in and win races, I can learn how to ride 50 feet without stopping. ”
For example, if you’re afraid of dogs because you believe every dog will bite you, you might want to take steps to break out of your comfort zone.
For example, if you’re terrified of dogs, start by looking at pictures and videos of people playing with dogs for 15 minutes per day for a week. Ask a nearby friend or family member who owns a dog to hang out with you for a half hour per day for the next few weeks. Have them keep the dog on a leash in the same room as you. Sit or stand closer and closer to the dog until, eventually, you’re comfortable enough to hold your hand out and let it sniff you.
Think of small pleasures that make you happy. Your daily reward could be a candy bar or ice cream, bubble bath, glass of wine, or giving yourself permission to binge watch your favorite show. Remember to give yourself a pat on the back for taking steps to face your fears, however small they may be. [9] X Expert Source Giselle BaumetMindset & Wellness Coach Expert Interview. 13 December 2021.
For instance, if you want to be a better public speaker but have always been afraid in front of crowds, you could try taking a class at a local community college. You could also try something a more informal, like joining a local Toastmasters club. [11] X Research source
If you’ve never climbed a mountain before, you wouldn’t want to try climbing Mount Everest. Try an indoor rock wall first or find a nearby beginner’s hiking trail.
There are some therapists that can combine Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) with Exposure Therapy. In essence, your therapist can guide you through a CBT session while you are in that fear state of mind. These forms of therapy are very effective for people who have difficulty overcoming their fears on their own. (This is usually through Computerized CBT, which provides a virtual environment that puts clients right into what they are fearful of). Typically individuals that need this level of treatment will have more severe anxiety responses, and sometimes panic attacks associated with their fears.
Find the right balance for you by contemplating the meaning behind the mantra “do one thing that scares you every day. ” It doesn’t mean live dangerously and impulsively. Rather, it’s about taking risks that challenge you to become the best possible version of yourself.