For example, your guy friend might say things like, “Did you see that guy’s abs?” or “He looks great in a suit. ” Keep in mind that this alone doesn’t mean the person is gay!
For instance, a guy that enjoys dating girls is probably straight, though he may be bisexual or pansexual.
They might say, “My date went well last night. They were really interesting, and I hope they’ll say ‘yes’ to a second date!” Keep in mind that they might be using the pronouns ‘they’ and ‘them’ because they are their date’s preferred pronouns. Don’t make assumptions until you talk to them.
You could say, “I’ve been seeing this guy lately, and I think our relationship has a future. How’s your dating life going?” Again, this doesn’t mean that they’re gay.
For example, a guy can paint his fingernails and not be gay. Similarly, a girl can prefer a short haircut and not be a lesbian. Additionally, straight guys can have high pitched voices just like straight girls can have deep voices. At the end of the day, it is always better to ask than to make assumptions![6] X Expert Source Kateri Berasi, PsyDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 9 September 2021.
You might say, “I really enjoyed Hayley Kiyoko’s new video for ‘Girls Like Girls!’ It made me wear my rainbow bracelet today. What did you think?” Before talking with someone about their sexuality, ask yourself why you want to know this and why it matters to you. Are you coming from an open or judgmental place? If you’re asking due to a desire to find connection or from a place of empathy or support, these are good indicators that your question is more likely to be well-received. [8] X Expert Source Kateri Berasi, PsyDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 9 September 2021.
Say, “I came out to my family last year, and it was so hard! But it’s so great to be able to share my truth with everyone, and I’m proud of who I am,” or “I think it’s important for everyone to feel accepted, so I’m an ally for the LGBTQ+ community. If we all work together, we can create real change. ”
Say, “Have you ever questioned your sexual orientation?” or “Do you identify as gay/queer?”
Don’t pressure someone to share if they aren’t ready. If someone asks you if the person is queer, say, “If you’re wondering about their sexual orientation, why don’t you ask them?”
For instance, don’t ask, “Do you think that Todd is gay?”
Say, “Would you like to play mini golf this Friday?” or “I heard you like live music. Do you want to go see this local band with me?”
Ask them to do things like go out for dinner, see a movie, or go bowling. Say things like, “I’ve known I liked girls since I was 12 and developed a crush on a girl in my dance class. Have you ever had a crush on a girl?”
You might say something like, “You look so great today! This shirt is really flattering on you,” or “Every time I see you walk into the room all I can do is smile. ”
Say, “Spending time with you has been so great! Would you be interested in going on a date? If not, that’s totally okay, and I’m happy to just be your friend. ” You could also text, “Getting to know you these past few months has been amazing. Wanna try a date? If not, we’re still on for game night. ” You could send flowers with a note that says, “Would you like to have a first date with me? If so, text me a picture of the flowers. If not, our friendship can go on like nothing happened. ”
Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there again! Go out and meet some new people. Soon, you’ll find someone else who catches your eye.
