Maybe you can’t imagine a day going by without talking to this person. With a friend, you probably won’t mind going a week or two without meeting up. With someone you love, that could seem like eternity.
For example, you might feel chemistry with your friend because you both laugh at the same jokes and have an easy time talking to each other. When you love someone these feelings are more intense. You might feel giddy or excited. [2] X Research source One way to consider how deep your feelings go for a person is to consider how you feel when you’re apart. When you’re in love, it’s hard to be away from someone for long periods of time. If you’re in love, you’ll also likely feel special when you’re around the person. [3] X Research source
When you meet up with a friend, you are probably excited. However, you probably won’t experience any major physical changes when you see them or give them a hug. With someone you love, you might not be able to control the way your body reacts. Your palms may sweat, your voice might become shaky, or your heartbeat could increase. [4] X Research source
You might think of your friend when something reminds you of them during your day—maybe a song you both like or a story that reminds you of an experience with them. When you love someone, they’ll likely be on your mind throughout the day, whether you’re reminded of them or not. You might even find yourself daydreaming about them. [5] X Research source
If you are excited to hear from one of your friends frequently throughout the day or get butterflies in your stomach when their name pops up on your phone, this could be a sign that you want a relationship. [6] X Research source
For example, a friend may notice that the person you love looks at you when you’re not paying attention. They might also notice that the person talks about you a lot when you’re not there—another sign that they think of you as more than a friend.
Make a list to keep track of your feelings throughout the week. Write down how you feel when you talk to this person or when you think about them. For example, you might write that you felt excited when this person called you or nervous when you were hanging out with them. Consider what’s attracting you to the person in question. For example, you may have an unfulfilled need that this person seems to fill. For example, if you don’t feel popular and this person is a star athlete, then you may be interested in them because you like the way it feels to be with someone you view as popular. In most cases, feelings that are based on external factors like this are not real love.
Try to reflect on specific situations. For example, think about a time you saw this person talking to another person and reflect on how it made you feel. Did you feel jealous? Did it not affect you at all?[7] X Research source
Give yourself a pep talk. Try saying something like, “I’m a fun, caring person. Bob would be lucky to be with me. ”
Try some casual touching. Lay your hand on theirs while you are laughing at a joke.
When people are in love, they often use cute pet names for each other, which have a deep, romantic connection for the couple. For example, they may call each other sweetie, darling, or baby.
You can say, “I’d really like to spend some one-on-one time with you. Would you like to have dinner with me Friday night?”[11] X Research source
“Thank you for being honest with me. I was hoping you’d feel differently, but I understand you can’t change how you feel. ” “I appreciate your honesty. I’d still like to be friends, but I hope you’ll understand that I may need some time to deal with my feelings. ”[12] X Research source