Ask a family member of close friend to go with you to talk to your doctor. A lot of times, people are overwhelmed when discussing their own health. Your friend can be your advocate, making sure to ask questions and take notes.
Discuss this option with your family. Many people are interested in physician assisted suicide as it allows them to be more in control of the process of dying.
There are also hospice programs where you are cared for outside of your home. You may be able to find more than one program in your area. Don’t be afraid to gather lots of information before deciding which type of care-giving is right for you.
You should make sure that a trusted family member or friend is granted your power of attorney. This will enable them to make decisions on your behalf should you become incapacitated. Contact an attorney in your area to help guide you through the legalities of transferring your power of attorney.
Choose your caregiver with care. If you are hiring a professional, make sure to discuss their style of caretaking during the interview process. You want to find someone who is nurturing and kind, but who is not condescending. If you have decided to have a friend or family member act as your caretaker, have an open conversation with them while you are still able. Explain to them that it is important to you to keep your dignity and that you want them to still speak to you as an adult, and never to “baby” you. Ask them to read some articles about caregiving. Your doctor should be able to provide some good resources for that.
Try starting a gratitude journal to help keep you focused on the positive aspects of your life. Taking time every day to write down a few things that make you feel grateful can improve your well-being and make you feel happier. For example, you might feel grateful for a hot cup of tea, a conversation with a loved one, or getting to enjoy a beautiful sunset. Try joining a support group to help you remember that you are not alone. You can discuss your thoughts about losing independence with other members of a support group and find out what they have done to cope.
For the first few days, your emotions might seem to change from moment to moment. It is normal to feel anger, denial, fear, and sadness. Acknowledge how you are feeling, and know that what you are feeling is understandable.
For example, you can begin making choices about the medical treatment and care that you want to receive for the rest of your time. Make sure to consider several options, and make a choice that feels the most comfortable to you.
If you enjoy being outside, make it a point to enjoy the sunshine each day. Ask a friend or family member to take short walks with you when you are feeling up to it. Many times you might still feel healthy, despite your prognosis. If this is the case, don’t be afraid to do the things you’ve always wanted to try. For example, maybe you’ve always wanted to travel abroad. If your doctor says that you are healthy enough, go for it.
There are many support groups for people coping with terminal illness. Ask your doctor to recommend a local group for you to join. It can be comforting to be around others who are in a similar situation.
Make sure to name an executor. This is the person who will make sure that your legal wishes are carried out. If you are terminally ill, you will also want to create a living will. This will give a designated family member or friend the power to make legal decisions for you when you are no longer able.
If you feel strongly about having either a religious or non-religious service, make sure to specify that. You can also make choices such as the type of music you would like to have playing during the service. Make your plans clear to a loved one that you can trust. You can do much of the planning yourself, but you will need someone to actually oversee the process once you are gone.
One way to say goodbye is by having a conversation. If you feel you will become distraught, you can plan in advance what you would like to say. Remember, tears and emotions are normal. Some people choose to write letters to their loved ones as a final goodbye. These can be read before or after you have passed.
