Indicators that someone might be making a joke depend on the kind of joke. Someone using sarcastic humor might roll or bug their eyes. They might act especially casual, but say the opposite of how they feel. Someone using ironic humor might use excessive slang, speak in a monotone, or profess to care deeply about a nonessential outcome. People often use humor to make fun of themselves, or others, in a friendly way. If someone is describing an embarrassing situation, they might be trying to make you laugh rather than asking for pity.
Learn to banter. If you understand the tenor of the joke, you can try to make the same kind of joke in return. This is a common expression of friendliness and of flirting.
If something meant to be friendly upsets you, ask yourself what bad feelings it brings up. Humor can help you discover hidden insecurities and fears. If a joke hurts your feelings, you don’t have to pretend you think it’s funny. Everyone has sensitivities, and everyone has sensitive moments. If you are being persistently teased in a way that hurts you, explain that you don’t enjoy the teasing and would like it to stop.
People who tell offensive jokes often defend themselves by saying “it’s just a joke. " You can retort “yes. It’s a sexist/racist/Islamophobic (etc. ) joke. "
Make up jokes. Look for the absurdity of a situation you are in, or an illogical decision you made, and try to tell it like a funny story. Write silly captions for the photographs you take. Do the objects in your photographs appear to be doing something other than what they are doing? Saying they are doing something they are obviously not is one easy way to joke.
Avoid jokes that comment on the appearance of others, even positively. The ways appearances are evaluated is inevitably radicalized, classed, and gendered. Joking about someone’s appearance is likely to put them in an uncomfortable position, and may look like a power move on your part.
To see the humor in a situation, you need to take a step back. This bit of critical distance can put things in perspective. Developing a sense of humor helps you develop resilience, and can ease you through your darkest times. [5] X Research source
For example, you might laugh at a video of someone falling while trying to impress someone. You would probably still laugh if they fell and weren’t trying to impress someone, but you would laugh less. If they fell and were badly hurt, you probably wouldn’t laugh at all. Determine whether or not you share a sense of humor with anyone you know. Does only your sister know how to make you laugh? Ask her what makes her laugh. Your sense of humor is likely to skew toward your other abilities. Are you a mathematical thinker? You might find wordplay funny. Are you a big-picture thinker? You might have a strong sense of irony. Think about your strengths and how they connect to the things that amuse you. Watch different kinds of comedy shows and cartoons to allow yourself to laugh and understand your humor. Comics are also a great source of laughter.
If you understand that something is a joke, but you are offended, ask yourself what bad feelings the joke brought up. It is often harder to take humor that is about our weaknesses and wounds. Check to see if you are missing social context. Ask a friend to explain their joke if you don’t understand it. You might find the joke funny once you understand why your friend does.
Most comedies aren’t funny to most people, so don’t give up if it takes you a while to find something you like. If you don’t like Adam Sandler, try Maria Bamford. If you are having trouble finding a comedian or comedy you enjoy, look for work that is produced by people with a background similar to your own.