Start by thinking about the areas in which you excel. What comes easiest to you? In which subjects did you always do well in school? What do you breeze through at work? Ask your friends, family, and co-workers for feedback. Often, they can see talents that you’re blind to. For instance, maybe you have a natural ability to talk anyone into anything. You may not even notice that ability, yet it’s a skill that comes in handy in many fields. You could ask your friends, “I’m trying to become more self-aware. Can you tell me what you think my strengths and weaknesses are?”
For every designated length of time that you work on something, reward yourself with a fun break or treat. This can help keep your focus on the effort. Or if you tried a new recipe at home, something you find difficult, you probably would normally tell yourself, “That’s so delicious!” While that’s not bad necessarily, you should also think about the process, telling yourself, “I’m proud of myself for trying out a new recipe and working so hard on it. "
For instance, if you’re new to the office, you could ask a co-worker to look over a report you’re working on to see if you have the right idea. You could say, “Since I’m new here, would you mind looking at this report to see if the right idea?” Once you turn it in, you could ask your boss, “How’d I do on that report? What could I improve on in the future?” In your personal life, ask for feedback when others seem upset with you. For instance, if your spouse seems frustrated with you, ask them why: “You seem to be upset with my behavior lately. What can I do better?”
Mistakes don’t have to be a bad thing. If anything, you’ll be wiser for having made mistakes along the way. [8] X Expert Source Sandra PossingLife Coach Expert Interview. 13 August 2020. When you have a setback, spend some time reflecting on the mistake. What went wrong? Could you have done something differently to prevent it? Write down your findings so that you can review them and be mindful of them the next time around. For example, say you tried a new recipe that didn’t go well. You could declare yourself a bad cook and not try again. Alternatively, you could analyze what went wrong and try to do better next time. Maybe the dinner burned because you weren’t paying enough attention to it. Next time, you’ll know to be more attentive.
For example, maybe you made a big mistake at work, such as screwing up a major order. One possibility is seeing yourself as a screw-up, as someone who can do nothing right. However, if you view it just as just a mistake, you can move on. That is, you made a mistake: screwing up the order. But it was just one mistake, and now you know better. You’ll do better on the next order because you’ve learned from the mistake. Take a moment to identify all the things you’ve done well or right in the situation. For instance, maybe you did a great job smoothing things over with the client once you realized your mistake. This can help make the mistakes easier to accept.
That includes taking on things that seem too challenging. You’ll make mistakes, but you’ll learn from the experience and realize what you can do. For instance, maybe you’ve always wanted to learn a new language, but you’ve been afraid you won’t be able to understand it. Take on the challenge, anyway. Even if you don’t become fluent, you’ll still learn more about yourself and another culture.
It’s important to apply this principle to your everyday life. Work each day on mastering your skills. Don’t give up because you don’t get it on the first try. For instance, if you’ve always wanted to paint, don’t give it one attempt and think you’ve failed because you’re not immediately great. Try honing your skills a bit each day. Don’t try to improve all your skills at once, either. Think about what is most important, then work on that first. Once you’ve begun to master that skill, work on what you think is the next most important skill.
One way you can implement this strategy is to think about your assumptions on a project. Sometimes, changing the assumptions can change how you look at the problem. For instance, maybe your problem is you need a new car that will carry items you own for your business. However, cars that are big enough to carry items inside are mostly out of your price range. You’ve made the assumption that you can only carry items inside the car. If you throw that assumption out, you may find a car with a top rack or a car that can pull a small trailer would work, both of which would fit your needs for cheaper.
Persistent does not mean unrelenting — don’t be afraid to take a break if you get overwhelmed or frustrated. Just make sure you go back to working on the issue.
Read books. Take classes. Visit museums and educational sites. Watch documentaries. Take any opportunity you can to learn about the world around you. Also, learn from other people. Talk to people in coffee shops, and ask them about their world. Ask for help from friends, family, and co-workers when you don’t know something. Let others’ experience guide you. You can especially learn when your mind encounter very different situations: Make friends with people from different cultures or with different beliefs or ideologies. Experience things that you’ve never done. Go to places where you’ve never been. Let your mind become familiar with all the possibilities!
