Your spouse will criticize you more often. You will engage in more frequent fights. [4] X Research source You will spend less time together. He or she will avoid your calls. A low-quality relationship can be a symptom or a cause of cheating. In either case, take steps to make things right with your partner. Talk about your concerns honestly and openly, and let them know that you love them and want a healthy, caring relationship.

Your spouse may quote a potential romantic partner at length, or relate a story about something innocuous they did together. If your spouse insists vehemently they are “just friends” with the individual in question in a way they don’t with other acquaintances, it may indicate an affair. Alternately, if your spouse stops referring to someone he or she had spoken of frequently before (usually a coworker), it may be a sign they’re having an affair. [6] X Research source Finally, if your spouse starts criticizing someone they previously had no problem with – a neighbor, a coworker, or friend – it may be to conceal the fact that they are actually involved with that person romantically and are attempting to mislead you.

visits to the dentist a new pair of glasses visiting the tanning salon more frequently using a new cologne or perfume losing weight exercising more often

Write down exactly when your spouse goes to work, goes to the gym, goes for lunch, etc. Call your spouse’s place of work when he or she is supposed to be there, and see if he or she picks up. Their routine may vary due to the work that your spouse does, so take care to consider other factors when using schedule as an indication of cheating.

Questions about finances depend on the specific expenditure, but might include: “Do you think these charges are correct?” “Did you buy ____? " “When did you buy ____?” Elusive or unclear answers include: “I don’t remember. " “It’s none of your business. " “Let’s talk about it later. "

Be careful when deciding to check their phone. If they aren’t cheating, you may inadvertently be damaging your relationship by intruding on their privacy. Even in the absence of explicit statements revealing an affair, you can use context clues to figure out if one is going on. If you notice a high volume of texts or calls between your spouse and someone else, it could be because they are having an affair. Other indirect evidence of an affair could be references to outings or recreational activities they shared together, but which your spouse didn’t share with you.

You should also check browser history. If the browser history has been deleted recently, it may indicate your spouse is concealing a recent web session which included viewing their paramour’s social media page.

Get a referral for a detective specializing in proving suspected extramarital affairs. If you are unable or unwilling to invest the resources into getting a detective, do some digging on your own. [16] X Research source Ask neighbors and your spouse’s coworkers about his or her habits. Try to discover if they were seen coming or going at odd hours (especially at times they claimed they were elsewhere), or if they’ve been seen frequently in the company of someone who might be a romantic interest. [17] X Research source

For instance, if your partner says he or she was at the batting cage with friends before coming home, you might reply that your friend was at the batting cage as well and reported that it closed early due to a broken water main. Even though this is untrue, your spouse will have to agree or disagree with this version of events, giving you the opportunity to later fact-check his or her rely. [19] X Research source More general probing questions might explore why your spouse has changed his or her habits, appearance, or schedule. For instance, you might ask: “Why have your hours changed at the office?” “What made you want to dye your hair?” ”Why did you decide to lose weight?” ”Who was on the phone?”

Be honest. If you have information which conclusively establishes that they are having an affair, present it. Do not dance around the subject or suggest indirectly that you suspect they are having an affair. There is no perfectly accurate measure for detecting a lie. Everyone has different “tells,” the unique characteristics they display when lying.