For instance, you can say, “It upsets me that you think I could do something like that” or “I don’t feel like you’ve really cared or considered my feelings in this situation. ”

You can say something such as, “Quit it with the name-calling” or “Stop calling me a liar. I’ve been honest this entire conversation. ”

For example, you might say, “Stop blaming me for something I had nothing to do with” or “I had no control over what happened. It’s not fair or right to blame me for it. ” You can also respond with “I’m very sorry that things turned out the way they did, but it’s fair to put all the blame on me. ”

For instance, if someone says something such as “Do you even care about how you look?” you can reply by saying “no,” even though the obvious answer is “yes. ” This can help put the person in their place. If someone says “Don’t you care about finding a significant other,” you might respond with “What makes you think I’m looking for a partner right now?”

You’ll probably have more trouble defending yourself if you appear nervous or unsure. In any conversation, to make eye contact, stand up straight, and speak in a slow, even tone. [6] X Research source

For instance, “You’re going to pay for messing up my work schedule” is a very aggressive statement. You can capture that sentiment in a more polite, assertive way by saying, “I’m really upset that you didn’t call out of work. You doubled my workload for the day and made my schedule a lot more stressful. ” Instead of saying “I hate how loud you are,” you can say, “When you speak at a loud volume all the time, it’s difficult for me to concentrate. ”

For instance, you can be assertive in a coffee shop by saying, “Would you mind fixing my order? I ordered iced coffee instead of hot. Thank you!” If someone cuts in front of you, you might say, “I understand you’re in a rush, but I was here first. I’d appreciate it if you’d wait your turn. ”

For instance, if the other person says that they don’t want to fight, you can say, “I thought this was a friendly debate. ” If the person is usually argumentative, you can also say something like, “Don’t you enjoy debates?”

For instance, if they say, “You’re taking this too seriously,” you can say “I’m very passionate about this topic. ” If they tell you that you’re acting too stubborn, remind them that you’re just determined.

For instance, if someone calls you a rude name or makes a rude assumption, say something like, “Did you say what I think you said?” or “There wasn’t a better way to say that?”

For example, you can say something such as, “I understand and respect that you have more power in this situation, but comments like that aren’t going to offend me. ”

One of the most well-known comebacks in history comes from Greek orators Alcibiades and Pericles. Pericles commented how he once sounded like Alcibiades when he himself was younger, to which Alcibiades stated “I wish I knew you when you were at your best. ” A more harsh example of a quip comes from Winston Churchill and another politician. The politician commented that she’d poison his coffee if she were his spouse. In response, Churchill commented that he’d drink the coffee if he were her spouse.

For instance, if you’re talking to a coworker, the coworker may be lashing out because they have a stressful workload. If a loved one is blaming you for something, they may be speaking out of stress and concern.

For instance, a statement like “If you really cared about getting in shape, you wouldn’t be ordering pizza” carries the assumption that you’re somehow unwilling or unable to eat healthier. You can reply something like: “I can eat pizza and still care about my health. ” Similarly, a statement like: “Don’t you even care that you hurt my feelings” carries an assumption that you’re selfish and inconsiderate of others. You can first reply with a sarcastic “no” to help the other person see how insensitive their question is.

For instance, you can say something like: “I’m very sorry that my actions hurt your feelings. ” Sometimes, listening can be even more important than the actual conversation. It’s also helps to wait for your turn (if possible) before immediately jumping into the conversation. [14] X Expert Source Adina Zinn, MPACertified Career & Life Coach Expert Interview. 30 March 2022.