Allow yourself to feel your emotions, however they come. You may feel betrayed, or your self-esteem may be hurt. Anger, humiliation, sadness—all of these feelings might pop up after dealing with unrequited love. Be gentle with yourself. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to “shake off” what you’re feeling. Grant yourself permission to be upset for a few days.
Keep in mind that begging someone won’t make them love you if they don’t. Doing so will only make you love yourself less. If the person relents simply to appease you, it will likely not be a healthy relationship.
To help you not personalize the situation, imagine that it happened to a friend. How could you explain the outcome to them? Maybe the person isn’t in the market for a relationship or maybe they have a different type. Neither of these reasons has anything to do with your worth as a person.
Think about it: rejecting someone as great as you probably wasn’t easy for the person. Plus, if you are friends, they may have even risked your friendship to turn you down. It takes a lot of courage not to enter a relationship you know is not right for you. The person may have a variety of reasons why they don’t want to be in a relationship with you, and you show maturity by understanding their decision.
Press the pause button and avoid seeing them for a while. This means telling them “I need some space…” and refraining from calling, texting, or skimming their social media profiles. If you’re afraid that seeing their social media profiles will bring back the pain, unfollow them. Facebook, for example, has an option where you can unfollow a person while still being friends. This way, you can always go back and follow them again in the future. If it is not possible to avoid seeing them, try to contact them less at least, and spend more time with other people.
Realizing that they are only human—just like you—may help ease your pain. Make a list of any qualities you see in the person that aren’t so great. For example, maybe your crush has an annoying laugh or perhaps they aren’t all that friendly to the non-popular kids at school.
Help your loved ones help you by making specific requests. For instance, you might ask a friend to go to the movies with you over the weekend. You might ask your mom or sibling to help you pack up things that remind you of your crush. You might even ask your pals to help you pinpoint your crush’s bad traits.
Eat healthy, nutrient-rich meals and get plenty of exercise and rest. Fend off stress with relaxing activities, such as coloring, listening to music, or playing with your pet. [7] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source It can be cathartic to write the person a goodbye letter. Perhaps pretend that you broke up with them or decided they just weren’t right for you. Focusing on their attributes that don’t fit well with you can help you move on.
Find other thing to be interested in, so that you can take your attention away from your feelings and make them less intense. Fill your schedule with lots of positive activities, such as studying, spending time with friends, completing projects at home, or taking on a new hobby.
Using your creative skills is a positive and helpful way to release and express your emotions.
Think about where you’d like to be in the next 6 months or a year. Then, write out SMART goals that help you get there. [12] X Research source For instance, you might decide to get a part-time job to help you save for a summer vacation in Europe. Looking for jobs might be one goal, while saving the money might be another.
If this seems true for you, consider seeing a therapist. This person can help you clarify the underlying issue in your relationship behaviors and help you overcome the fears and beliefs that contribute to them. [14] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
Challenge yourself to date someone drastically different from your previous crush. For instance, if this person was an artist, try dating a sports fanatic.