The need to make sense of the death may haunt you continuously. [2] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source Trying to piece together the last weeks, days, or hours of your loved ones life may help you understand better. However, you must accept that, with suicide, there will always be some unanswered questions.
Recognize that blaming yourself or feeling guilty is common, but it’s not your fault. Blame may help you try to cope with the loss by assigning responsibility, when you are truly upset by the idea that your life and the lives of your loved ones are not in your control. [3] X Research source
It’s okay to feel abandoned or rejected. But, remember, suicide is a very complex ordeal to the victim and those left behind. Know that this choice was your loved one’s decision because they couldn’t cope with their life or certain circumstances–it’s not a reflection of you.
It might take awhile for you to figure out what works for you. Things will start to get better in time.
Recounting your fond memories may bring you back to a time when this person was happy. You may choose to remember them that way.
As you develop your routine, include meal-planning and exercise into your schedule so that you can properly nourish your body during this stressful time.
Self-soothing activities can include anything you find calming, such as wrapping up in a warm blanket, drinking hot tea, taking a hot bath, lighting aromatherapy candles, playing soothing music, sitting in front of the fire, or reading a good book. If you are an adolescent who finds it hard to express yourself and release stress in other ways, you might benefit from drawing out your feelings in an expressive coloring book or free-handed.
Distracting yourself from your emotions for a short time is not diminishing the seriousness of what you’re going through. Instead, going out with friends, watching a funny movie, or dancing to favorite songs you shared with the deceased can be a great way to restore your ability to handle the grief. You might find yourself bowling over with laughter and then drowning in tears. That’s okay, too.
Ask your primary care doctor for a referral or search for a professional specializing in grief after suicide.
Doing some research about the whys behind suicide can help you to better understand what your loved one was going through, and maybe even save lives in the future.
Talk to your friends and loved ones about your thoughts and feelings is essential to the healing process. Be courageous and seek out others with whom you can share your story. You don’t have to tell everyone in your local community, but open up to a few individuals you can count on for support. Staying silent about this issue could prevent others from learning about the signs and possibly saving a life.
You can join a group facilitated by a counselor or a layperson who has personal experience dealing with grief after a suicide. Check out a few local groups to see if you feel comfortable opening up and sharing your story. [15] X Trustworthy Source American Foundation for Suicide Prevention Health organization devoted to saving lives and helping those affected by suicide. Go to source If you cannot find a local group for suicide survivors, you can access one online. [16] X Research source
