For example, try telling them if you would like their help with doing your schoolwork. You also might tell them that you would rather your biological parents give you relationship advice.
If you find yourself upset at something she says, take a step back and think about it. If your biological parent had said it, would you still be upset? Try to appreciate her contributions to the family as you would your biological parent. For example, if she organizes a barbecue, try to enjoy it as you would your mom or dad’s event. Most importantly, try to see her side in family disputes. Sometimes, you may be what holds the family and stepfamily together.
This should be communicated to him in a caring way. For example, you might say: “I know you just want to be close to me and I appreciate that, but I’m not ready for you to hug me tight yet. I’ll let you know when I am. "
For example, you could tell them: “I’m trying to get used to this new family situation, but transitions can be really hard for me. Can you help me take this new father-son dynamic slow for a while and let it develop?” This doesn’t put them in the driver’s seat, but it does put them in the passenger’s seat, helping you navigate the waters.
You could also connect by trying something you know your step-sibling likes. For example, if he enjoys building and playing with remote control cars, ask if you can join some time. This will show that you’re putting forth an effort to be a part of his life, rather than only the other way around.
If it is an age-related difference, such as a later bedtime, you may be allowed the same privileges when you’re your step-sibling’s age. If it is simply a parenting difference, like using a parent’s car to see friends, talk to your biological parent. He may not be prepared to give you that privilege, but telling him the difference in privileges bothers you should be a sign to him that you aren’t entirely satisfied with the way things currently are.
For example, you could invite your step siblings to your birthday party. Introducing them to your friends is a good way to share your life with them.
Stepchildren shouldn’t see a new stepparent as an extra well of cash. They are not your personal bank, so don’t put tension on the relationship by trying to make a withdrawal.
