For example, you might prepare yourself for an interaction with someone who annoys you because of their negative attitude by telling yourself something like, “Tom and I see things differently, and that’s okay. He has a pessimistic point of view, but it is likely because of things that have happened to him. Just because he sees things this way does not mean I have to see them that way. ” You may also want to consider ways that you can limit your interactions with the person. For example, if you work together then you will likely need to see them every day. However, if the person is a family friend, then you can reduce your exposure to them by showing up a little late to gatherings where you know they will be present, or leaving a bit early.
For instance, imagine that you are on a beach or on a relaxing walk through nature. Try to visualize the sights, sounds, smells, and other sensations of being in your relaxing place. For example, you could imagine the feeling of sand between your toes or the smell of flowers in a nearby field. Practice this frequently and you will be able to calm yourself more quickly. Breathe in slowly through your nose and exhale through your mouth until you feel calm.
You can also choose a word like “happiness” or “serenity. ” Repeat it in your head or write it down in a notebook.
Make sure that you are doing your part to not escalate the situation verbally or nonverbally.
You can start by saying “Hey Ryan, sometimes in the mornings, I need time to get settled in before chatting. It really is starting to frustrate me. Do you think you could give me an hour before you come by to talk about non-work related things?”
You can say something like “Sarah, I know you like to talk about your sex life, but could you do that with someone else? I don’t really like to share or know about details like that. ”
If they are telling others things that will defame your character, then address and correct it. If they have an opinion about their favorite musician however, let it be.
Though you should respond if someone asks you a question, you don’t necessarily need to respond to general statements or comments.
If they ask you for a favor and you have time, try to do it. Don’t ignore them if they tell you “hello. ’’ Don’t gossip or talk badly about them or others.
If that is the only seat left, don’t be cruel. Allow them to sit down and pull out a book so they know you are busy.
Perhaps your sign is that you pat their shoulder or wink at them.
For instance, if a coworker is bragging again about how much money his family has, knowing that you are going through a financial hardship, say “Excuse me for a moment,” and take a quick walk until you are calm.
Call your mom or spouse and say “Do you have a few minutes to talk? I need to vent about this person I work with. ” You can either have them just listen to you or you can ask for advice.
Usually when someone’s being annoying, they’re using an indirect way to get recognized. Try saying something like “The way you’re acting is getting my attention, but not in a good way. “[12] X Expert Source Evan Parks, PsyDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 26 October 2021. Reflect on the times that others have called you annoying. Recognize that them lashing out in anger towards you did nothing to dissipate the situation, but often times only made both of you feel worse. Try to remind yourself that what you find annoying might not be annoying to other people. The feelings of annoyance are coming from within yourself, not from the other person.
Distracting yourself can be helpful when the emotions you are felling are getting to you. Take some time to focus on something you enjoy for a while and then come back to the situation.
