Allow yourself to be vulnerable. When you see time and again that your partner does not think less of you in your most vulnerable state, you may begin to build trust in the relationship and confidence in yourself. [3] X Research source
You are more than a sexual creature. Think about the positive qualities you have that your partner sees in you, and let yourself feel good about those qualities. [6] X Research source
Be open and honest with your partner about what you like and don’t like, and ask your partner to do the same. [8] X Research source It’s okay to have sexual fantasies and desires. You and your partner can act out your fantasies safely, through role playing or other strategies for couples. [9] X Research source
It may also help to meditate before having sex as meditation is known to alleviate anxiety.
Try to remove expectations. Taking away the expectations associated with sex can help alleviate some of the pressure you might be feeling. [12] X Research source
Tell your partner when you like something while it’s happening.
Negative thoughts about love making, performance and being attractive to your partner. Constant mental images of previous failures. Shortness of breath and an inability to control your bodily sensations. Inability in men to experience an erection as a result of such thoughts and feelings, and thus withdrawal from sexual activity (erectile dysfunction). Lack of proper lubrication (among women). Constant, excessive worry about how your will perform. A constant cycle associated with not performing that further debilitates the performance.
antidepressants (especially in the select serotonin reuptake inhibitor class, or SSRI) such as clomipramine, Amoxapine, amitriptyline, isocarboxazid, phenelzine, tranylcypromine, and fluoxetine tranquilizers, such as thioridazine, fluphenazine, trifluoperazine, and chlorpromazine certain anxiolytic (anti-anxiety) medications, such as diazepam and alprazolam blood pressure medications, such as clonidine, labetalol, and methyldopa
Hormone imbalances could cause problems. If your body is not producing adequate levels of hormones such as testosterone, estrogen, or progesterone, you may experience a decreased sex drive and an inability to enjoy sex. This can become especially problematic in older individuals. Talk to your doctor about having your hormone levels tested. Reduced blood flow can lead to reduced sexual pleasure and an inability to become aroused. [15] X Trustworthy Source Cleveland Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Chronic health problems, including diabetes, heart disease, and elevated blood pressure, could affect sexual arousal and pleasure. [16] X Trustworthy Source Cleveland Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Mental illness, especially depression, generalized anxiety disorder, and bipolar disorder, can significantly reduce a person’s sex drive and ability to enjoy sex. [17] X Research source
damaged or blocked blood vessels nerve damage high cholesterol or blood pressure obesity low testosterone metabolic syndrome prostate problems, including swelling and cancer of the prostate
Consult with your doctor if you believe your menopausal symptoms are affecting your sex life. Certain medications are available, including estrogen and testosterone therapy, that can improve sexual desire and allow patients to enjoy sex once again.
A therapist may even help you to identify problems that you didn’t know you had. This is why a professional perspective can be very useful. A therapist can give you a number of tips and techniques you can try to lessen your anxiety and improve your sexual performance.
