Light exercise might help you feel better faster. You might go for a walk or do yoga in your room.
As another option, inhale to a 5 count, then hold your breath as you count to 5. Next, slowly exhale to a 5 count. Repeat 5 times.
It helps to count your breaths to help keep your mind from wandering. If you like, repeat a mantra to yourself as you meditate, such as “peace,” “calm,” or “relax. ”
Keep your journal in a notebook or on your computer.
It’s helpful to schedule a time to talk. For instance, you might say to your parents, “I really need to talk to you. Do you think you’ll have a few minutes after dinner to sit and talk with me?” If you know your parents had a stressful day, it’s likely best to wait until another time.
After your parents stop talking, try to paraphrase what they said back to them so you’re all on the same page. Say, “It sounds like you’re worried I’m going to fall behind on my school work if I go out on the weekend,” or “It sounds like you think I’m dating someone who’s too old for me. ”
You might say, “Right now I feel really overwhelmed with school. To make things worse, my friends are all hanging out without me because I’m not allowed to go to parties. I know you’re worried about me, but I’m old enough to make responsible decisions. I’m hoping you’ll let me go to parties with my friends if I check in often. ” You could also say, “I know my grades have gone down a lot this semester, and I’m just as upset as you guys. I’ve been feeling really depressed these past few months, so it’s hard to concentrate. Also, I’m having trouble keeping up with my assignments. I want to make positive changes, but I’m not sure where to start. I’m worried that you’ll just punish me instead of helping me get better. ”
For instance, let’s say you failed an important test and your parent yells, “You should be embarrassed by this grade! You’re being so lazy!” This would be so hurtful to hear! You might respond with, “I feel really bad about this grade, and it hurts my feelings that you’d call me lazy. I studied really hard for this test, but I must not have understood the material. ” Similarly, let’s say you have a date and your parent disapproves. They might say, “You’re going to get with this loser and ruin your whole future. ” You might reply, “I understand you’re worried, but it hurts my feelings that you think that way. I’m a smart, hardworking person, so please don’t assume the worst of me. ”
For instance, let’s say your parents won’t let you go to a music festival with your friends. That can be so frustrating, especially if everyone you know is going. However, you might recognize that they’re only making that decision because they’re worried you might get hurt at the festival. Similarly, your parents might constantly annoy you about your grades and homework. While this might be irritating, you might consider that they’re just trying to help you succeed in school and set yourself up for a bright future.
For example, let’s say you and your parents both enjoy watching a local sports team. You might talk to them about how the team is performing or which players you like best. If you have a pet, tell your parents stories about you and your pet. Talk about what you’re watching on TV, what you’re studying, or what you plan to do over the weekend.
If your parents trust you, they’ll likely be more open to changing the rules.
For example, let’s say you tell your parents that you’ll clean your room so that they’ll stop nagging you. Make sure that you clean it! Otherwise, they’ll think they need to pester you more to get you to do things. Occasionally, something might come up that prevents you from doing what you promised. In this case, go to your parents immediately and tell them what’s going on. They’ll be more likely to understand if you talk to them first.
As an example, you might snap a photo with your friend in front of the movie theater if you’re out seeing a movie. Then, text it to your parents with a message like, “At the movies with Alex to see the latest Marvel movie. Text you as soon as the movie lets out. ”
You might say, “I forgot that my research paper was due today, so I’m going to lose points. I feel really mad at myself because I’ve been working so hard to keep my grades up. I’ve already submitted my late paper, and I’m going to start keeping a planner so this won’t happen again. ”
For instance, enjoy a family dinner, go bowling, play mini golf, play board games, or watch a movie together.
