If you can, have the conversation with the person face to face. Confronting the person over text message or email can make it difficult for you to strike the right tone and manner. Even a phone call would be a better option than a text or an email.
For example, you may say to the person, “I was just wondering if you got my gift?” or “Did you get a chance to open my gift?” Doing this may also prompt the person to remember to thank you for the gift. Give them some time to respond and see if they offer their thanks when prompted this way.
For example, you may say to the person, “I was disappointed to not receive a thank you from you for the gift” or “I was hurt when I didn’t get a thank you. Did you not like the gift?” Often, saying this will prompt a person to respond with “Sorry” and “Thank you” or explain why they did not say thank you to you right away. Be patient when listening to the person’s response. Focus primarily on your feelings when you discuss the issue without putting blame on the other person. [2] X Research source
For example, you may say to the person, “It bothers me that you do not show thanks for the gift. But I can accept it and move on. ”
For example, perhaps the person has poor interactional skills and does not know how to say “thank you” properly. Or maybe the person feels embarrassed by receiving a gift and does not feel comfortable saying “thank you. ” Think about the person’s character and personality. Consider if they are just not comfortable saying “thank you” and try to accept that you cannot control their actions or their preferences.
Giving without expectation can also be useful for building a reputation for being generous and thoughtful with no strings attached. Your friends and colleagues may come to see you as someone who gives freely without expectation, a quality to be admired.
For example, you may tell yourself to let go of the issue and take a few deep breaths to release it and move on. You may then focus instead on the people who did say thank you to you for your gift.
You may set your own limits around giving gifts to only those who appreciate them based on your comfort level. For example, you may not be able to get out of giving a close relative a gift, even when they do not say “thank you. ” Rather than get them a lavish gift, you may go for a less expensive gift so you spend less money on them and potentially feel less upset about not receiving a thank you from them.
For example, for the holiday season, you may focus on giving gifts to those you love and let go of expectations around receiving a thank you from them. That way, when and if you do receive thank you’s from them, you will feel surprised and pleased.
Another option is to donate money to charities or local organizations rather than to family or friends, as you will definitely receive thanks and praise from a charity or organization for your gift. This may be a good way to still give to others and get the thanks you are seeking.
