Call a friend and arrange a coffee date. Invite a few friends over for dinner and cook together. Plan a weekend visit to your grandma out of town. Avoid withdrawing from people, especially if you feel like you might be depressed.
Instead of sitting around and feeling lonely, embrace your extra free time to finish that model ship or dress. Start learning a new language through a free phone app like Duolingo. Pick up a book you’ve been meaning to read and just start reading.
Cross stitch is a great hobby for occupying time spent alone since it contains small detail work and usually requires counting. If you are trying this for the first time, choose a simple pattern so you don’t get frustrated or overwhelmed. Buy cheap outdoor acrylic paints at a craft store or Walmart and a canvas to create an abstract painting. Choose colors that express your feelings and add things like sand or plaster to create different textures. Use an empty picture frame with or without the glass for making a collage. If there is no glass, glue images to a piece of cardboard and cover it with modge podge or use a spray varnish to protect it from damage.
Write an original poem on fancy paper with a calligraphy pen. Better yet, make your own handmade paper. Create a children’s style book about how you met, complete with illustrations. You don’t have to be great at drawing to make a cute book your significant other will love. Make illustrations simple and add meaningful details to each scene.
Just five minutes of intense exercise can instantly boost your mood, but exercising regularly can also help with long-term depression. Consider exercise as natural medicine that your body needs to function properly.
Recaulk your bathtub, sand down and refinish your grandmother’s antique dresser, fix the screen door that swings open in the wind, etc. Finish writing your book of short stories, make those throw pillows you’ve been saving fabric for, or sign up for pet training classes you’ve been meaning to start. Paint your bedroom, install shelves in the bathroom, or finish planting a vegetable garden.
If you can’t stand to be away from each other for a few days, you are probably too dependent on each other for your own happiness and feelings of self-worth. Remind yourself that you are a valuable person and you don’t need someone else to give your life meaning. [3] X Research source Try saying something like, “I am a valuable person and having alone time is healthy for me. " Being apart gives you a chance to miss your partner, and that reminds you how important they are to you. If you are never apart, you might start taking the little things that you love about each other for granted. [4] X Research source
It’s natural to worry sometimes, but being preoccupied with these thoughts is a sign of attachment anxiety. People with this problem expect the worst behavior from their partners or are always waiting for the relationship to end. [5] X Research source
Make sure not to call or text too often. Evaluate your relationship, how long you will be apart, and how often you usually talk or see each other. If you know your significant other is busy, send a personal message through email or Facebook instead of texting, or call your significant other’s voicemail directly and leave a sweet message. These forms of communication won’t interrupt your significant other while at work or a family event, and will be a nice surprise. Try to set up a special time for each other, such as watching a favorite show at the same time while your significant other is away. You’ll feel closer knowing your significant other is watching the same thing as you, it will also give you both something to discuss other than how much you’re missing each other.
If your conversations become stagnant, bring up a news item or interesting topic you’ve recently heard. Talk about your childhood. What did you want to be when you grew up; what was your favorite fun activity as a kid; what was your favorite Halloween costume ever? Look in local newspapers or on websites for ideas about new activities to try. Ask friends and co-workers who have significant others what they do together for more ideas.
Get croissants and sit at an outside café for a couple hours, walk across the prettiest bridge near you, and visit your city’s art museum. Visit a public garden for a picnic lunch, stop by a plant store on the way home to pick out a few of the flowers you saw earlier, and plant them together when you get home. Stick to a “water” theme and schedule a visit to an aquarium or science museum, find the biggest public fountain in town and bring some change to make wishes together (make sure it is allowed first!), and end the day with a walk along a nearby canal or beach. Plan a scavenger hunt to do together. Write clues that will take you to different places that remind you of each other or surprises you know they would love.
When you feel longing, ask yourself: are you bored, did you have a bad day and wish they were there to talk about it, do you miss things they usually do for you? Go see a movie, call a friend to talk, or learn how to cook an exotic cuisine. If you find yourself feeling angry or frustrated, try to figure out exactly what those feelings are about. Do you feel abandoned, forgotten, or insignificant? These are likely extreme responses to being separated that do not reflect your partner’s feelings or intentions.
When you find yourself pining over all the time you are missing together, stop yourself and focus on the present moment. Replace “I wish we were together right now,” with something like “it’s nice to have the cat (or dog) all to myself today. Usually she goes to my partner first. ” Change feeling lonely into feeling connected to someone or something else. Use logic to overcome your negative feelings if you are stuck. Thinking, “I can’t be happy when they aren’t around,” will certainly make you feel unhappy. Instead, acknowledge you control your own feelings and decide to be happy doing something else right then. Cognitive patterns are established through effort. Each time you perform an activity, or think a loaded thought, your brain is more likely to do it again. [8] X Research source Learning to correct negativity by focusing on positive thought takes time and practice. Be patient with yourself and don’t make yourself feel worse through self-criticism.
Think about how you have changed for the better by being together: are you more patient, mature, or friendly? Have you expanded your horizons and overcome any old fears? Are you proud of yourself for learning to think of your loved ones before your own needs? Deciding to focus on what you have instead of what you don’t does not mean that you can’t allow yourself to miss your significant other. It’s ok to miss someone you care about. Try to develop a habit of noticing when you feel lonely and wish your significant other was with you, and deciding to focus instead on feeling grateful for the time you do have together. Start a gratitude journal and keep it with you at all times so you can immediately redirect your feelings when they arise.
