Let homophobic rhetoric defeat itself. If onlookers see that you can remain calm in the face of adversity, the homophobic person will start to come across as the crazy one.

At times you feel particularly down on yourself, take time aside from the chaos. Go to a bathroom. Look in the mirror and say “I am valid. My name is ______, and I am (sexual orientation, gender, whatever is in question). And I am valid. " A little reassurance often helps, even if it comes from yourself.

You have every right to stand up for what you believe in, but some homophobic people may behave irrationally towards the subject. Feeding a confrontation may not do either of you any good. If avoiding a confrontation is not viable, remember to keep calm. As the tension rises, the homophobe may act angry or say things that don’t make sense. Try not to resort to basic insults; instead, back up your points with reasonable facts or opinions. Be especially careful if you live with homophobes. Fighting back can get you getting kicked out, or put you in a dangerous situation. If you feel uncomfortable in your home, try to find a more accepting place to live.

Empathize. Remember that many people were raised homophobic. Homophobia is a knee-jerk reaction for those who haven’t thought through their feelings, and it can be hard to escape this sort of ingrained intolerance. If you know that someone is a homophobe, but they don’t do anything to harm or harass you, try to treat them like everyone else. If someone wants to believe that you’re going to hell or that you’re living a morally-repugnant lifestyle, that is their right – as long as it doesn’t interfere with your right to live your own life.

Wait for a time when they’ll be receptive to what you have to say. Don’t start this conversation when these people are distracted or focusing on something else. Give your words the chance to be as impactful as possible. Be warned that this tactic won’t work on everyone. Trying to educate people may only lead to more frustration. Ask yourself whether it hurts to try.

You don’t need to make a big deal of removing someone from your life. All you need to do is create distance between yourself and the intolerant person. Over time, if your values diverge, your paths may diverge as well.

For instance: if a server at a restaurant won’t serve you and your significant other, tell their manager and get the owners of the establishment involved. Most places want to keep customers happy, and there are laws against discrimination. Know your rights!