You may even have pre-emptive homesickness, where you develop feelings of anxiety, loss, or obsession about home before you leave because you are anticipating the separation. [5] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source Children and pre-teens typically feel homesickness more than older adults, although people of any age can experience this.
Nostalgia. Nostalgia is when you frequently think about your home or familiar things and people, usually through an idealized lens. You might feel preoccupied with thoughts about home, or find yourself constantly comparing your new situation unfavorably to your old one. [6] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source Depression. People who suffer from homesickness often experience depression because they lack the social supports they had at home. You might also feel like you have less control over your life, which can worsen depression. Common signs of homesickness-caused depression include feelings of sadness, feeling disoriented or like you “don’t belong,” withdrawing from social activities, academic or work difficulties, feeling helpless or abandoned, experiencing low self-esteem, and changes in your sleeping patterns. Not wanting to do or not enjoying things you used to do is often a sign of depression. [7] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source Anxiety. Anxiety is also a hallmark of homesickness. Anxiety due to homesickness may cause obsessive thoughts, especially about the home or people you miss. You might also have difficulty concentrating or feel extremely stressed without being able to pinpoint a cause. You might get easily irritated or “snap” at people in your new situation. In extreme cases, anxiety can trigger other responses, such as agoraphobia (fear of open spaces) or claustrophobia (fear of confined spaces). Abnormal behaviors. Feeling homesick can throw you off your normal routines and change the way you respond to things. For example, if you’re not usually an angry person but you find yourself getting upset or yelling more than you used to, this could be a sign that you’re feeling homesick. You might also eat significantly more or less than you usually do. Other symptoms include frequent headaches or experiencing more pain or illness than usual. [8] X Research source
Children and teens typically are not as emotionally independent. A seven-year-old is generally not nearly as ready to venture from home as a seventeen-year-old. Young people usually have not had as much experience with new situations. If you have never moved before, or been away at camp before, or been on your own before, it is more difficult than the second or third time. When you are young, it is more likely to be a new experience than an older adult.
Balance old with new. In order to adjust to your new situation, it’s important to embrace the changes that you’re experiencing. Certainly, have some comforting items from home, but realize you cannot and should not be surrounded by old, familiar things. [10] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source Remember that not everything has to be a physical object. In the age of the Internet, you may be able to stream your local radio station, for instance.
Eat your favorite foods from home. There’s a reason we have the term “comfort food. ” Eating familiar foods from your childhood or culture can make you feel happier and more secure in your new environment. [12] X Research source Try introducing your favorite foods to new friends to strengthen the connection between familiar sources of comfort and new sources of emotional support. Participate in your religious traditions, if you have them. Research has shown that people who have religious or faith traditions feel less homesick when they participate in those traditions in a new place. Finding a place of worship or meditation in your new place, or even finding a group of friends with similar traditions, can help you adjust. [13] X Research source Find some similar activities to do. If you were in a bowling league or book club at home, don’t be shy. Do your research and see if you can find something similar in your new environment. You’ll be able to do the things you love and meet some new people in the process.
Find a trusted person to talk with. A college RA, a guidance counselor, a parent or close friend, or mental health professional can give you a sympathetic ear and, often, advice about how to cope with your feelings. Remember that seeking help from someone else doesn’t make you “weak” or “crazy. ” Having the strength to admit you need help is a sign of courage and good self-care, not something to be embarrassed about.
Exercise can also boost your immune system. Homesickness may manifest as increased feelings of sickness (e. g. , frequent headaches or colds).
You need to develop a sense of self-confidence and self-reliance to combat homesickness effectively. Don’t let yourself focus so much on your loved ones in another place that you don’t learn how to manage on your own. Talking to friends and family can make homesickness worse for very young children or for people who are away from home for a very short time. [19] X Research source You can also spend a bit of time on social networking sites to connect with friends and see what they’re up to. It may help to not feel they are impossibly far away. However, do not focus so much on your old friends that you don’t have time to make new ones, though.
Schedule your phone calls home. Set limits for how often and for how long you’ll talk to friends and family back home. You could even try writing old-fashioned “snail mail” letters. These are great ways to stay connected to people back home without letting your nostalgia for the past keep you from experiencing the present.
Look for ways in which your new environment is like what you miss. Research on homesickness has shown that when you can find aspects of the familiar in your new situation, you are less likely to stay homesick because you are focused on something positive. [21] X Research source
For example, if you’re away at school or college, there are a variety of clubs, sports, activities, and student government bodies you could join. These can help you connect with other people, many of whom are probably experiencing homesickness too! If you’re at a new job or in a new city, it can be hard to make new friends. Research has shown that you may find it harder to make friends after you leave college. [23] X Research source Consistency is key: joining a group that meets frequently, such as a book club or workshop, is likely to help you make friends because you’ll see the same people on a regular basis. [24] X Research source
Have a party where you share your cuisine and customs with new friends or acquaintances. Whether you’re studying abroad or just going to college a few hours away, sharing your favorite foods from home with others can make you feel better. You can have a party where you teach a few friends to make the foods you love most from home, or just invite some people over to enjoy your favorite local snacks. Share your favorite music with others. If you’re from a place that loves country music, have a small get-together where people play board games, get to know each other, and listen to your favorite tunes. If you loved listening to jazz at home, play some jazz. The music doesn’t have to directly relate to your home as long as it reminds you of being home. Tell funny stories about being at home. Though you may be feeling too mopey to laugh, try sharing some funny anecdotes about what you loved most about being at home. Talking about fond memories can strengthen your connection to home and to new friends. If you’re living in a place with a different native language from yours, try teaching some people a few key phrases in your language. This will be fun, distracting, and educational for your friends.
If you’re shy, give yourself a manageable goal: meet and talk to just one new person. You’ll probably become more comfortable socializing as time goes on. [28] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source Focus on listening to the other person, which is the easiest way to make a connection. Even if you end up not making friends at that particular party or event, you will have proved to yourself that you can handle doing new, unfamiliar things, and that can boost your self-confidence.
Start with small steps. Trying to face your biggest fear all at once could be counter-productive. Trying to throw yourself into something completely foreign could leave you feeling overwhelmed. Give yourself small, manageable goals that challenge you a little bit at a time. [31] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source Try a new restaurant in your new town. Offer to sit with a stranger at the cafeteria. Ask someone in your class to start a study group with you. Invite a co-worker to get drinks after work.
For example, if you’re studying or living abroad, check out all of the museums, palaces, local restaurants, and cultural traditions that make the country unique. Get out your tour book and make a goal of doing something cultural at least once a week. Immerse yourself in the culture. Even if you’ve just moved to a different place in your home country, you might find that the local culture is quite different from what you’re used to. Learn the local expressions, try out new cuisine, and check out local bars and pubs. Take a cooking class that focuses on local ingredients. Join a local dance club. Increasing your intercultural communication skills can help you feel more at home in a new place. [33] X Research source Ask the locals about their favorite things to do. You may get an excellent recommendation for finding the best burrito of your life, or you could get directions to a gorgeous off-the-radar lake.
Work or study out of the house. Go to a coffee shop or park and do the same work you were going to do at home. Just being around people may help you feel less alone.
